Your tits are I can't wait for
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
