I hate all girls vehemently.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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