I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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