dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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