I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
