I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
