do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
