omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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