I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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