Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
