Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we should paint friendship bongs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
