I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
