The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
