found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
