haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
