Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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