She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
