Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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