Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
