It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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