I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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