We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
