I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I pour the whiskey from now on
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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