Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
