it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
