it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
