That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
