I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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