At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
