Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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