Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Randomize