The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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