i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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