his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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