i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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