My room smells like vodka and shame
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
