haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
