Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
