So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize