his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
