you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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