I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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