So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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