After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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