Im at strip club and am horny
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
