Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize