No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
