you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
