I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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