my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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