id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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