she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
