is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
