My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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