so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
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If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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