The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
