margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
