We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
