you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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