if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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