the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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